In room 117, Spanish lessons often share the space with emotional conversations. Surrounding Miss Dos’s desk are often five students, all eager to talk to her. Her classroom is bright, filled with laughter, posters, music, and decorations. The room looks lively on its own, but the real warmth comes from the students who have waited all day to talk to their favorite teacher.
For most teachers, a lunch break, prep period, or early morning before class means time to get themselves and their materials for class in order. For Miss Dos, most areas of free time during the day are consumed by her sensitive conversations with students. Whether a student needs to talk about a death in the family, a trouble with a friend, or a stressful moment in school, Miss Dos is always there to listen for anyone who needs it.
Miss Dosantos- known as Dos by her students- reflects on experiences that shaped her approach to emotional connection long before her calling to become a teacher began. Like other empaths in the world, Dos described her tendency to cry during movies, like Homeward Bound or Charlotte’s Web. She believes these were early signs of her caring, empathetic personality.
Additionally, she shared an emotional childhood story that showed signs of compassion long before she began working with students.
“I had a friend of mine in middle school that had a bad home life and there were reasons that I wasn’t going to be allowed to go to her house, for my safety,” she said. “All I said to my mom was ‘I’m not going to stop being her friend. If I’m not allowed to go to her house, that’s fine, but I’m not going to stop being her friend because she needs friends right now.’ ”
“I knew that she needed those positive people in her life. I knew she was going through a lot of things.”
Even more powerful is the fact that Dos still talks to her today. They go to breakfast when she’s around, and Dos even attended her wedding.
Dos credits much of her loving personality to how she grew up and the environments she was exposed to. “It came from all of the good experiences that I had in my life, the good people that raised me. I don’t take that for granted. I think that, ultimately, that helps me to treat people like they matter because I was always taught that that’s what you do.”
“Those experiences in my life taught me that if your goals are to be kind, to do good, to be good, then that’s what matters. And I think that’s why I tend to look at kids for what they bring to the table as enough and not force them to be more.”
She does make kids feel like they are enough in what they say, how they act, and in their raw personalities. She prioritizes making students feel comfortable being in her room and being in the building.
“If I can’t relate to the kids, and I can’t get them to want to come to class, then I’m not a good teacher…I think that that’s what makes me want to be a good teacher. Making sure that I create an environment for kids no matter how awkward they might be or different that they might feel from the people in the room, that they still feel like they can walk in every day.”
When asked what makes students feel comfortable coming to her, she responded, “I think that one of the things that I’ve always been true to is that I am the same person behind my desk, in a hallway, at the grocery store, at a beach, it doesn’t matter. I am just who I am. It makes it easier to go through life when I’m not trying to be someone that I’m not. That integrity and ownership and authenticity is really important to me.”
Dos prioritizes making sure students are in a good headspace, or at least that they know they are able to talk to her if they need it.
“I pay attention…If I notice somebody is more quiet I might just engage in conversation to get a feel. I’ve had kids who start to cry immediately [when I ask if they’re okay].”
Her easygoing, authentic personality is one of the most prominent qualities about her. It draws students in and provides consistent comfort, even when times are extremely hard.
Horrifyingly, she recalled a time when one of her students was pulled out of school because her dog was hit by a car. The student came back to school after saying goodbye to her dog.
“She came right to my room, and we just cried together. For like 20 minutes.”
Salisbury High School student Lauren Scialla experienced something similar. “Our dogs passed away at the same time, so it was something we could trauma bond over. It was easier to get through it with her rather than being alone.”
Her ability to relate to her students and the people around her defines her personality. It separates her from teachers who care strictly about the curriculum. She can cry with students, listen carefully, and is always sure to give honest advice.
Dos spoke about the mix of love and struggle that comes with being the school’s safe person.
“It’s a lot for me somedays. I think if people knew some of the things that your age group faces every day, they wouldn’t believe them. And that’s the part…I believe them. If it weighs enough for those kids to think about it or to share it, somebody has to listen to them, or where does it go?”
Even when it’s difficult, she truly expresses how much love and gratitude she has for her job.
“I do not think I could do anything that wasn’t this. I love to problem solve. I love to support great ideas. I love cheering people on. You guys fill my cup even when you’re needing me. I don’t get my cup filled sometimes, in return. I can handle that. I have enough of a support system that I can come back and do it the next day.”
“The hardest part sometimes is when other people don’t see or value or acknowledge what I try to do…I am trying at all times to do what is right. And I think that most people know that, so I get a lot of support.”
In balancing emotion, Dos’s students have learned from her, and she has learned just as much from them.
“Not a day goes by where somebody does not rub off on me in some way.”
Dos’s story is extremely admirable and inspirational in the sense that she is so determined to become a better human and leave a positive impact on the lives of those around her.
“There are things that I carry with me, mistakes I’ve made in trying to do what is right. I’m afraid that sometimes those are what I’m going to be remembered by. At the end of the day, even in those situations, I have loved. I think it’s important that they know, whether we’ve had positive or negative experiences, that where I come from is a good place.”
Tomorrow, students will surround Dos’s desk, ready to talk. Dos will listen and help the students sort through their issues or celebrate their accomplishments, not because she’s required to in her job description, but because she wholeheartedly wants to. Empathy isn’t a role she plays, but it is truly who she is.
